Workout 2018 Volume 6, The Bump in the Road

The continuing saga of my journey to getting in shape…

Day 22: I didn’t want to go anywhere, but Wife grabbed my ass and told me that working out was making a difference. I like when she grabs my ass, so I went to Pools & Fitness today. I’m easy, especially on a Sunday morning.

Day 23: I took the morning off and got a massage. My massage therapist noted that my leg muscles were stronger. No, I did not kick her. She’s nice, though she could do with a little less patchouli in her oil. I had to come home and have Wife wash me down with Dawn to get the smell to go away. On the plus side, Wife washed me down, so I’m not seeing the patchouli as a bad thing. Does that count as my exercise today?

Day 24: Yo-ga. Rhymes with yo-gurt, which is what I had for breakfast. I should go to P&F tonight, but I don’t wanna. (Read in a whiny voice.)

Day 25: I’m so flipping hungry that I’m going to work out by eating stuff. So far today, I’ve had toast, an apple, yogurt with blueberries, a Dove chocolate bar, and a Yasso frozen yogurt bar. I started out so well today, but it seems all bets were off after noon. #failday Here’s hoping I get my ass off the sofa tomorrow?

Day 26: My quads are getting stronger than my hammies, which causes my knee to hurt. So I did some exercises for those today, which made my ass hurt. Then we went to P&F. I tried out the bike today, I don’t understand people who put it at the lowest resistance. It’s just moving your legs, not working anything. Anyway, I started at 8 and moved it up to 10. I found that it surprisingly works my hips and lower abs. However, it also works my quads, which are apparently strong enough. I have mixed feelings about that.

Day 27 and 28: Worked, worked, worked, but didn’t work out.

Day 29: I wanted so badly to skip today, but then I reminded myself that I took the last 2 days off. I got into my socks that slide across the wood floor and did some belly dancing. This episode was called The Hippy Camel, which makes me think of my jeans lodged in an uncomfortable place. The workout was really fun. I liked the warmup, which combined yoga with extra stretchy stuff. I’m glad to see my flexibility is coming back. I missed that from when I had stopped working out altogether. We did shoulder rolls. As long as I ignore the crackling of my shoulders, it was a sexy move. Then I learned the “ethnic shimmy” which sounds kind of racist, but it’s just a sharp hip move from side-to-side. This, I could do–and well. Then we did a thing called “m-and-m’s” which turned out better than the candy. (Confession time: I do not like M&M’s.) The move was a little complicated for someone as uncoordinated as me, but I think I did okay. Even the switching is getting easier, though the narrator is now counting things out. Someone must have given them feedback to inform them that the people who were going to buy this video were middle-aged women with love handles, not professional dancers.

Weight: I have not lost any, but I’m stronger and I have more stamina, so it’s not a total loss. TBH, the only way I really lose weight is to not eat and take Claritin-D, and I’m too freaking old to do pull that crap anymore. Besides, I’m not having allergies right now.

See you next week!

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